Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Saved, by a Dyson

This evening my life was saved (or I was spared serious injury at least) by a brand-new Dyson, bagless, allergy protecting vacuum cleaner.

The wife asked me to go out to the road and clean out her car, and, failing to come up with a good enough excuse not to, readily agreed. The car was in desperate need of a clean-out, the internal carpets were especially thick with grit, dust, mud, leaves and general debris.

So, I got the dyson going and climbed into the back seat and was merrily 'hoovering' away. ('hoover': a noun which became a verb which became an irony). I had been working away for a few minutes, when I heard a strange jarring and scraping sound. Looking around to see what it was I realised that the car was moving - having been parked by its owner in neutral with no brakes. A quick look the other way showed that we were rolling towards the road and into the path of a truck! I lept through to the front seat and put the handbrake on, thankfully just in time, the car stopping just short of the main road.

Hyperventilating, with a soaring pulse and a year's supply of adrenaline coarsing through my veins I climbed out of the car. It was then that I noticed the Dyson. It was wedged hard between the open car door and the kerb. It was this humble domestic appliance, wedged in, which was making the noise I had heard as it braked my progress towards the road.

Closer inspection demonstrated that the Dyson was wedged completely under the car door, and couldn't be moved either way; even moving the car a few inches forward failed to release it. A huge amount of the car's weight was pressing down on the thing too. There was no choice then but to jack the car up and release the appliance. Much to my surprise, the Dyson is still working!

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